


On the Subject of Men in Drag

by orphan_account



Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011), Wild Target (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 20:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1318075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Q is exasperated, Peter may have a new kink and Hector used to be a drag queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Subject of Men in Drag

**Author's Note:**

> AKA WTF did I just write?  
> One of the many ficlets inspired by bulecelup's [girlband!AU outfits](twitter-sketch-shenenigans-with-friends-1)

Peter strode in to his office. Hector was sprawled over the couch, but looked up when Peter came in, immediately eyeing the folders in his hand. “New assignment?”

“Yep.”

“Just us?”

“Nope.” Hector raised an inquiring eyebrow. Peter collapsed into his chair and groaned. “Why do we always work with him? Any other agent will work perfectly fine.”

Hector started laughing. “I bet Smiley just likes assigning us missions with Bond just because he knows how much you two hate each other. Honestly, it’s like you two are children bickering over a toy!”

Peter grumbled, “But you’re my toy. Bond has no right to flirt with you as much as he does. He has Q, for god’s sake!”

Hector pulled himself up from the couch and strolled over to Peter, straddling his lap. “Don’t worry, darling, you’re the only blond-haired, blue-eyed piece of hot agent eye candy for me.” Peter’s only response was to lean up and press a hot kiss onto Hector’s lips.

 .....

A few weeks later, the pair found themselves in an upscale hotel in America, sharing a two-bedroom suite with Bond and Q. Q was apparently there to ‘fulfill necessary field work quotas’, but he really was only there because of Bond. Peter and Hector were sitting on the couch, Bond was lazing in one of the armchairs, and Q was sitting at the table pounding away at his keyboard and trying to get Bond and Peter to pay attention and stop glaring at each other (or rather, Peter was glaring and Bond was smirking). “Okay. Quick recap—Mr. Munoz is a possible successor to an international trafficking network; our job is to find his office and look for evidence that he was actually selected to take over the role. However, we don’t want said network finding out we’re on to them, so secrecy is key. Killing is unnecessary and messy. That means you, Dixon.”

Hector smirked and inclined his head.

“Good. We have a few other agents narrowing down his hideout in the city at the moment, we’re waiting until we get conformation on the most likely location." He looked up from his computer and narrowed his eyes at his bored audience. 

"Now, did anyone pay attention to a word I just said?”

“Nope,” all three chimed in unison. Q sighed.

“Whatever, procedure.”

Two days later, they finally got the word they were waiting for. Q gave the report a quick glance-over, then visibly deflated. “He apparently owns a number of gay gentlemen’s clubs in the area. Guess where we’re going.”

Bond shrugged. “Eh, we’re all gay here, it’s not that bad.”

Peter was less flippant about the situation. “What sort of club? Like, public or private dancers, are we allowed to bring our own people, dress code, any private rooms?”

Q scanned the reports. “Basically you go there, you bring your own or you hire a worker there, and you rent a private room for a bit. It’s mainly for upper-class people to ‘socialize’ and have sex with pretty men. Think that one club scene from _First Class_ with the redheaded agent.” At their blank looks, his eyes widened. “ _X-Men: First Class_? James McAvoy? Michael Fassbender? None of you have seen it?”

Hector looked amused, Peter looked baffled, and James was making the face he always makes when Q waffles on too much, so he shook his head and sighed. “Heathens, the lot of you.”

Peter cleared his throat. “Anyways, so it’s just suits and nice clothes?”

Q blushed and looked down at the screen. “Actually, the one we’re going to…the workers dress a bit…fabulous.”

He turned the screen so they could look at the picture. There were a few men wearing nice, formal business suits, but the rest were dressed in rather skimpy dresses. 

James backed up. “No way in hell am I dressing like that.” 

Q sighed. “Let’s talk plans first, okay?” 

A few hours later, they had a very vague plan: two of them would be hookers hired by the other two acting as businessmen to reduce the number of people bothering them about hiring a partner. One inside the club, they’d use the excuse of being drunk take a peek around and try to slip into the office. After a long argument, they eventually came to the decision that Q and Hector would be the ones in drag. 

After another agent dropped off a bag with clothes and fake ID’s, Peter and James were the first ones dressed. Q was having trouble putting on his schoolgirl-inspired outfit. 

“How the hell do you fit in this thing? I feel ridiculous,” he grumbled, tugging at the short skirt as if doing so would cover up his legs, then tried once more to pull it up and fit his arms through the holes. 

He shot a glare at Bond. “And stop laughing. I’d like to see you try it.” 

“I know you would.” 

“Fuck. Off.” 

Before James could reply, Peter made a strangled gulping sound as Hector emerged from the bathroom, seeming very comfortable even in his purple dress and fishnet stockings. He put the riding crop he was holding in between his lips as he tugged on the matching jacket. 

“You look utterly ridiculous, Q. Get that ass over here.” 

He spun Q around and tugged down the zipper in the back that Q had missed. When Q finally got the dress up and on, Hector grabbed his shoulders and spun him back around. 

“You’re taking forever, you’re going to make us late. And you don’t look like a hooker yet.” 

He grabbed the belt that came with the outfit and ordered, “Put that on, then your jacket and tie. I have fix your face, you don’t look slutty enough to be a James’ whore--you look more like a fucking college student wearing a dress for a prank.” 

James tilted his head. “Since when were you so good at wearing drag?” Hector waved his hand in his general direction as he started to mercilessly outline Q’s eyes. 

“I worked as a dancer in a gay club back when my brother was in college.” 

Q’s eyes widened, Peter made an odd choking noise and James wolf-whistled. 

Hector whirled around to face him, looking exasperated. “Not that sort of dancer-the club I worked in was perfectly reputable.” 

He went back to working on Q as he continued, “Think more of a drag queen then a stripper. Although I did give a few lap dances, if you asked politely.” 

He shot a wink at Peter who was visibly aroused, then stepped back and gave his handiwork a quick once-over before pausing. 

“By the way, do you know how to walk in heels?”

Peter groaned and put his head into his hands, trying to will his erection away. This entire mission is going to be a disaster.

**Author's Note:**

> May add another chapter and/or edit it some more. Meh.


End file.
